It's official, I've been working out for half of my life. That makes me an expert on gym behavior and allows me to make the rules. Don't believe me... check out a couple of my baby photos.
Pay attention because this is important.
Gym Rules
#1 - This is not social hour, it's ok to say hi to someone but beyond that I don't want to hear you talk.#2 - Cell phones, (see rule #1)
#3 - If I am 3 feet from the mirror, doing an exercise, and looking at my form, don't walk between me and the mirror it makes me want to punch you.
#4 - If you sweat on a machine, good for you, you are working hard. Now clean the machine.
#5 - If you are grunting and dropping weights I better be impressed by how hard you are lifting, otherwise you are just being obnoxious.
#6 - If you can do your workout and read a book at the same time, you aren't trying hard enough.
#7 - If you pick up a weight, put it back where it goes.
#8 - It's not a fashion show and nobody cares how your hair looks.
#9 - Do not have body odor, that means ANY, perfume or stink. I don't want to smell you.
#10 - Don't bring food in the gym, it's not a bistro.
Locker Room Rules
#1 - Don't let your balls touch anything you don't own, use a towel.
#2 - If you need to pick something up off the floor, don't bend at the waist, use your knees.
#3 - Don't stare at my genitals, it's just wierd if you do.
#4 - I know your kid is an electrical contractor, I don't need another one of his business cards.
#5 - Don't leave your half used soap in the shower tray.
#6 - There are only two acceptable body positions in the steam or sauna room. Sitting and walking in or out. Don't stand in front of me while I'm sitting.
#7 - Shaving, brushing your teeth, combing hair, etc can be done with a towel around your waist.
#8 - There is a time limit on cleaning your private parts in the shower, it doesn't take 5 minutes, everyone knows what you are doing.
#9 - If you don't use a lock on your locker, you waive your right to complain about stolen items.
#10 - Seriously, stop looking at my genitals.
