Everyone driving in Belchertown is drunk!
Keep in mind I am wearing the most obnoxious Day Glo shirt you can imagine.
Eventually, one driver goes into full pucker mode and slams on his brakes nearly causing a massive pile-up as all the other cell phone users.... ummm..... I mean "drivers", snap out of their coma.
I cross the street, the crossing guard appologizes to me because she was basically useless. I walk over, take a picture of the sign, and jog past the police officer who just stares at me as I give him a polite little wave.
I wonder... Just what is it that he is looking for??? Osama Bin Laden???
So, when I was only 3 miles in and had already counted 100 bottles, I quit counting. I mean really.... what's the point?
I looked at the Belchertown Police Department web site where they describe themselves:
"The Belchertown Police Department is a full service, 24 hours per day, public safety operation. The department is responsive to citizens needs and has adopted a community policing philosophy of working in partnership with the community.
In addition to traditional police services such as investigative and reactive patrols, the Department pro-actively works with residents to collectively solve problems via neighborhood planning and strategy meetings."
Responsive to citizens needs???
Well I have some needs...
First, I want you to look like you are doing something.
Second, I want you to give me a police escort when I ride and run.
Third, shoot anyone who almost hits me (note: bring lots of bullets)
Fourth, pull someone over and arrest them for being drunk.
Ok, I don't really care if they actually ARE drunk. Just do it so the word gets around about how you guys are a bunch of BAD ASSES and are hard on crime! The ONE arrest this week was for a "failure to appear", come on guys, step it up!
Thanks guys! Just one more question...
Who is responsible for putting your police station next door to a Dunkin Donuts? Good Planning!